on april 17, 2022, i woke up with love in my heart for myself for the first time in my life. i love myself. it was an insane feeling, an insane thought. it felt like i was on drugs. like my ribs had opened up like a dungeon door and suddenly my heart was free of its cage.
i grabbed my camera, hopped in my jeep wrangler, and drove up the blue ridge parkway, listening to trevor hall’s blue sky mind the entire time. i wandered around the woods, thinking of all that i’d been through in the last year. the death of both of my grandmothers, my dad’s death and resuscitation, the end of a deeply toxic relationship, the loss of my home and my dogs, the death of my old self and the rebirth that followed.
i looked back at the horrible, reactive creature i’d become over the years and gently laid that version of myself to rest. at this point in my life, i’d faced my shadow self. the vicious, cornered beast. the fury, the anguish. i stared her in the eyes and told her i loved her, and let her go. i didn’t know, at the time, what i was stepping into after that chapter- but i knew a part of my soul had finally found its way back home.
